Trouble with a capital "T" (dv8dragonfly) wrote in one_year,
Trouble with a capital "T"

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Day 8

Damnit, why can't I just level off? For the last several days I have been depressed. Hell, I even had the balls to finally tell ryoske_kt, after I felt like I had a handle on it.

I know I was being depressed. I've hardly been eating. I've been avoiding social things (I didn't make it to the weekly open mic I usually attend). Shoot, I didn't even put in my contacts for three straight days, and I HATE wearing my glasses.

So I decided I was going to do something about it. I've been making a point of setting myself social obligations. I hung out last night with a friend that I couldn't really change plans with, based on his schedule. I have made plans with a friend who will be in from out of town. I have a wedding on Sunday that many of my friends will be at. I even have volunteered to sell merchandise for my friends' band, ilyAIMY at two upcoming events, to make SURE that I will go out and be social.

Not that I don't want to do these things. And not that I am not having a blast when I do them. It's just that it's too easy to make excuses, stay home and mope if I don't feel like I must be there. And I am hoping that it will snowball. That each time it will be easier and that by spending time with my friends I will be lifted out of this funk I am in.

My only worry is it backfiring - that I will go manic. I did this morning, a little. I dragged myself out of the house in the morning to take myself out to breakfast. Luckily I was able to curb it a little - it was only IHOP, so my total with tip was something like $12.

You do what it takes to get by. I'm doing it a day at a time.
Tags: dv8dragonfly
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